25 May 2010

Spawn trying to drink my beer!

Sometimes I wish I carried a purse just to carry toys to the bar with me to keep myself entertained.

13 May 2010

The things I have to go through to buy ONE candy.

I get irked at old people that think because they are old they can ignore the 15 or less sign posted at the speedy check out line. And to add to that.... where I live this:
Some jack ass cuts in front of me at the 15 item or less line with a basket full of shit... and I politely say, "Yo, this lane is for 15 items or less." And they look at me like I have a monkey eating lice out of my blue hair and say, "Que?" Aww come on mother fucker I know you heard me and saw me point to the fucking 15 items or less sign. So then in Spanish I tell them to stop pretending like they don't understand me.... Then in craptastic broken Enlgish, "Oh sorrrreeee." Mutha fucka I KNOW you can understand me and if you can't I will tell you in your native tongue.... and if you still act stupid I will fight you, with knives.

All for this:

Swedish Fish

And in other news:
I am such a retard! So I have been reading manga and it’s read right to left. And as my usual habit I take a gander at Calvin and Hobbes daily. I just started reading it with the right frame cause my brain is still stuck in manga mode. Meh! Least I can say I can laugh at myself.

06 May 2010

This is why I don't watch television....

It is also why I try not to leave the house. Because I feel like every teen baby maker out there deserves to be run over by a cement mixer! Use birth control. Get an abortion. Stop being a drain on the economy and tax payers like myself. Fuck, I should get a tax break for NOT contributing to the population problem. Instead I get to pay taxes as a single person so people like ^^ these can get government assistance and have their kids as tax deductions. FUCK!

Whose bright idea was it to have this show and think it is ok?! It is NOT ok. You need a punch in the face and the teen pact of stupid preggo's on the East Coast should be punished not televised.

05 May 2010

Why are dogs so amazing???

Oh look at my little Snarky! So cute and tiny. I miss his little tiny puppy face. Why can't they all stay that small.

Speaking of little, here is a baby Panda laying in my office at work.

04 May 2010

Someone woke up on the nasty bitch side of the bed.

Oh yea… I want the rest of the world to go away… but me. I need bombs, lots and lots of bombs. Rargh getting so tired of people….

*Needy people… you know the ones that NEED to have someone else. They go on and talk about how long it’s been since their last relationship, kiss, lay, date… whatever. Come on people find happiness within yourself instead of depending on others for it. Because 9 times outta 10 these same people bitch about their relationships when they do have one!

*People that complain about their lives because of their kids. Way to make it seem like you are a bitter parent! High five! If you didn’t want to deal with having a kid… you shouldn’t have had one. I don’t want them and I ensured that I would not end up with one… Hooray for me. That doesn’t mean I need to hear about YOUR ‘terrible, tiresome, bleak’ life of parenthood. Not my fault buddy so I don’t wanna hear about it. Your bad not mine. I hope your kids never have to hear about how much you bitched about their existence.

*People that try to get possessive or bossy. I do what I want when I want because I can and I will. If me picking my nose while in line at Baskin Robbins is enough for you to “not be my friend” then fuck you. So what? If you want to hang out with me and then have to dictate my behavior, I am not going to want to hang out with you anymore. I don’t tell you what to do or not do. You are my friend because I like you just the way you are. So what if the way you comb your hair irks me, I am gonna keep it to myself. Because it is fucking petty to tell you to comb your hair because I can’t be seen in public with you. Or stop eating Hot Cheetos cause it makes your breath smell and fingers red. Those are the little things that bug me… not enough to bring up and ruin a friendship over.

*And one last thing…. I am sick and tired of people assuming things based on the association of others. It’s lame and shows others that you have nothing better to do than sit around and make shit up in your head. Stop it! Get a hobby or go for a walk… stop trying to imagine what a horrible human I am being. Stop imagining how many babies are skinned and buried in my back yard. Just because I tell dead baby jokes does not mean I have dead babies. So relax, stop assuming shit based off your whacky little ideas.