Death

It welcomes us all at some point.  I have been kicking this post around for almost a month now.  Wait!  I know I have become quite laggy at posts but this one I seriously had to wait on.

Michelle, I just got your advent.  I am glad you got my post cards.

Will, I had a great time visiting you and the Mrs'.

Yu, thanks for showing us around Tokyo.  It was a blast.

Cameron, Yuan and Katherine.... I hope to catch you on one of my travels or one of yours.

Before I delve into my trip to South Korea and Japan (future posts... fo'real).  I do have one thing to say:  My aunt passed. Some people may be thinking, oh her aunt that's sad.  It is sad especially since my aunt raised me from infancy through my teen years.  She was the one to rush me to the hospital when I had a seizure.  She was the one that got called to the principal's office when I was bad.  She was my mom away from my real mom.

My Own Private Idaho

 It's been a while that I have been looking for something.  And today I think I finally found it.  I had been running quite sometime for health; physical and mental.  It really was doing the trick until I passed the 9 mile mark.  

Woke up on the snarky side of the bed.

Literally and figuratively!

Snarky, my dog was on the side of the bed I woke up on, that's a good thing.  Nothing like waking up next to undying loyalty and wagging tails right?  The morning started out so nicely, I was looking forward to work and later pottery.  I was looking forward to the child returning to school until I was reminded what a pill it is to get him going to school.  So my mood quickly shifted to snarky and seems to have stayed with me.  I left while he was in the midst of his school routine, not listening, lolly gagging and running late as usual.

I feel like Hank right now.

Any moment now I feel like I could just be less helpful than I tend to be at work.  Or tell a co-worker to shut up because I am tired of hearing about their children.  There is a child in my house, I don't want to hear, see or be around others when I am at work.  Work is the great escape and I like my job.  Well at least until recently.

Foot in mouth disease, I have it.

"Because I am hard, you will not like me.  But the more you hate me, the more you will learn.  I am hard but I am fair." - Gunnery Sergeant Hartman

I looked back in my posts to see if I had written the story of how my father gave me away as an infant. But I couldn't find the story.  Suffice to say when I was a baby my father, who was kind enough to pass on his legacy of lunacy sprinkled evenly among his fine children, gave me away to my grandmother.  Story goes, my father threatened to steal me away to Mexico but my mom wouldn't have it.  And then the details are a little blurry.  My mother stayed with my father and agreed to give me up to live with my grandmother.  Something about a suicide threat from my father bla, bla, bla.  My grandmother's youngest child at the time was just about to graduate high school.  So she was young enough to take on a baby in the house.  With the help of my aunt and uncles I was raised in my grandmother's house.

In my about I talk about my gramps suffering from Michael J. Fox disease with a little extra dose of Alzheimer's.  My aunt ended up having to quit her job to help care for me and my grandfather whose health deteriorated at a rapid rate.  When my aunt stopped working she pretty much became my, "Sir! Yes, sir!" or as I affectionately called her, "Mommy-tia."  She was hard on me because I needed to learn.  She was hard on me because I was difficult.  She was hard on me because I had to grow up and function as a normal member of society.  Though now I thank her stern, rigid way of disciplining me.  I also know that some of my hang-ups and hiccups in personality probably stem from abandonment issues and authoritarian parenting by my guardian.  Pile some of that on top of some of the traits my dad left behind, which if diagnosed would land him in a category close to my own.  If not the same category I was diagnosed as when I was still too young and angry to make use of my therapy.

Parasitic little monsters... lice and children.

I forgot all about lice.  I vaguely remember getting them in 3rd grade when an infested child in my class was caught throwing her lice at other kids.  Or at least that's the story my mom likes to tell, who knows.  Maybe there was a disgusting filthy in my class throwing her parasites on other kids.  I also recall that most kids who became infested suddenly returned to school with blunt bobs for the girls and shaved heads for the boys.  I wasn't so lucky.  I had long hair, mid way between waist and shoulders.  I didn't get a cute bob, I ended up covered in Rid and spent the better part of a day having the lice comb rip enough hair out of my head I could have made my own Furby.  I need to stop thinking about it, I wonder if that is why I took the scissors to my own hair and kept it short until about now.

Bad things happen to good people.

I was a lazy shit this week.  I didn't run since last week, not once, until today.  My sister, who doesn't run, decided to come run along with me.  She had her best mile time in, well, since ever!  I had a nice shower and said my goodbyes to my mister and his son.  Went on my way to a Pampered Chef Party... I promised I would.  So off I went to have my shower; so my sister could take me with, to her house and then have her shower too.  The plan was we could go to the party from her house after her shower.

I waited at her house while I had a nice long chat with her room mate.  This is her first year teaching and she has a bit of a tough student.  Andy's teacher is also in her first year, having a tough student being none other than Andy.  After my sister had her shower we headed over to the glorified Tupperware Party.  By this time (11.30) I was famished.  A 5k run, only a smoothy in my belly; I was looking forward to the snacks these parties provide.  I was considering what to pile onto my second cake-slice sized plate of food when I heard my phone ring.

Revenge of the Bathroom Nightmares

So last night during dinner, Andy told me I should pack my suitcase and move out.  Maybe he was joking, maybe he wasn't.  I can never tell with the kid because to him everything is a big joke.  Jokes on me!  Yay.  Earlier that day I advised the mister to have a chat with Andy because he was being wasteful, again.  I had already discussed proper use of toilet paper and not to be wasteful with it.  But he didn't listen and has been using toilet paper to wipe down the foggy mirrors after his shower.  The discussion I had asked the mister to have had slipped my mind and his.  So the discussion was not had before Andy had his shower last night.  I went to bed early so I could have a nice early morning run.

***Warning: Do not keep reading if you don't want to hear about tampons and periods.***

A period of reflection or thought.

She said:
"Introspection and Action
The first is easy the second comes hard to most. And far too easy for some. Easy like a snake sloughing off it's old skin to let the new one shine. Leaving the old shell behind gets harder with age/time. Connections have become fewer and slightly harder to make. People get comfortable in their niche.
Ignorance is bliss, which is why most people turn a blind eye to the inside. And the fear of change keeps that blind eye shut."

To which he responded:
"Introspection without action is fine as well. Now, if we come to the same conclusions over and over, decide a change must be made, and then promptly uncork a bottle of wine..."

Well isn't that a little bit crazy?

And yet I tolerate you....

Recently a title suggestion for my blog made me chuckle, "Domestic Adventures of a Reluctant Stepmom".  Except it feels more like misadventurous adventures than anything else.  Reluctant yes, very, if I had a crystal ball that let me peer into the now about two months ago when the bomb was dropped.  Would I have high-tailed it to the hills of Rome?  Or would I be experiencing these misadventures still?

"See, I want to believe you

And I wanted to trust you

And I want to have faith to

Put away the dagger

But you lie, cheat and steal"

Bathroom Nightmares

After bath time our floor was ending up completely soaked.  So we warned Andy not to make a wet mess of the bathroom or he wouldn't be able to have baths; only showers.  That night the shower ended up a soapy wet mess again, so we decided showers, until he can behave in the tub.  I still had yet to figure out how, if he was showering, the bathroom was ending up just as wet as when he had a bath.  The other night I was walking by the bathroom and I heard the shower running and saw the light from under the door flick off and on several times.  I had my hubs come ask him what he was doing.  He claimed he was showering still.  Apparently the floor was getting soaked because he would run to play with the light switch several times while taking his shower.   Why he runs between the light switch and the bathtub when he showers to flick the lights off and on a few times is beyond me.  Now we know how the bathroom ends up completely wet at least.  Issue has been addressed and the aftermath of bath time is much drier thankfully.  I don't even ask to know why anymore.

There's no crying in baseball!

I was cutting onions, swear!

When life gives you lemons, she usually cuts them open and squeezes them straight in your eyes.

How the fuck am I supposed to make a lemonade out of that?!

Health Screenings

Aside from the work enforced piss and TB test, I haven't really had one.  Not from my job and not on my own accord.  Ignorance is bliss?

A few weeks ago work promised me a cool 20 bucks for a health screening.  All I had to do was give them 15 minutes of my time and a drop of blood.  20 bucks you say?  In the fine words of Homer J. Simpson, "Mmmm beer," so I figured what the hell!  Let's do it.

A job well done...

Sometimes the best thanks you can get for a job well done is the self satisfaction you feel for succeeding.  The feeling of doing something good, something right.

As some of you know I have been working on-site at a high school, covering for a gal out on maternity leave.  Working with teenagers has proven to be much easier than I expected.  I had a nightmare that these kids would be like I was and I would have to deal with them.  Some cruel cosmic joke on me for being an ass when I was younger I suppose.  Luckily it has been going well... I probably just jinxed myself.

I had the opportunity to go home with a feeling of victory a few days ago.  I did something right, something good.  I saved a life.  

Heart attack in a can?

That's my hand holding 32 ounces of heart attack juice.  I had to capture the size difference of my hand compared to the giant can of energy.  There is a better picture of the product down below.

Energy Drinks + Susie = No good

Sometimes life is a shit sandwich buffet.

And when it does, I am so glad I have people in my life to help me turn my frown upside down.  Lately it feels as if anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.  And I will be damned if I want June to join in the ranks of my miserable month of May.

May started out with a crazy woman hitting my car WHILE PARKED as she tried to exit her vehicle.   Followed by the battle with property management over my stove that broke.  They tried to ghetto repair it three times before the manager figured I needed a new one.  Since he was a new manager I decided to inform him that the stoves in the past had caused fires.  Idiot!  So finally after almost a month of no oven, I got a new one.  How does one cook with faulty equipment when it is against the rules to have a BBQ at our complex? 

More cannibalism?!

And I thought dubstep was a bad trend!!!  Ok, ok dubstep sucks and so does cannibalism.  What the hell is going on out there?!

Last week I was shocked about consenting cannibalism.  This week it gets better.  Or worse?  Worse.

So upset, I am shaking!

I woke up today in a great mood.  On my list of things to do:

• Go to work.
• Go to the courthouse and pay my fine like a responsible person who fucks up is supposed to do.
• Get my dogs some flea medicine and food.
• Go back to work.
• Fix up lasagnas tonight to give to a few people that have been promised some.

WC's

In preparation for my trip to Germany I read about important things like using the bathroom. Hold on, before you start thinking, "Damn this girl is going to another country and isn't even potty trained?!" No, no. I read that bathrooms are marked WC (for water closet) in Germany. Kind of important to know how bathrooms are labeled especially when one is going to be in Germany for several days. I really can't hold it THAT long. So, armed with the knowledge that a lavatory is labeled WC I did well at first. I had no problem locating bathrooms (another thing I read was that you had to pay to use most public lavatories) or carrying the correct amount of money to use the loo.

I don't know if this has happened to your or not but I know it's not just me. Have you ever had to pee so bad that you couldn't think straight? The only thing in your mind is the prospect of finding a lavatory and feeling that joy of finally being able to relieve yourself (NOT in your pants). You start having mad thoughts of popping into an alley or behind a bush just to feel the sweet relief you much desire. Then, you find a bathroom, you suddenly let the flood gates loose. When you are finished you feel like you are on top of the world. That frantic feeling, being unable to think straight, it's all gone! Suddenly you feel like you are thinking with the utmost clarity and you can take on anything. Well I had to go pee pretty bad while in Munich, REALLY bad.

Nervous doesn't even begin to cover how I feel.

As you can see, I am ready to go. Got myself some Euros, my Passport and our rail pass. I have my travel bag, all I need to do is pack my clothes and junk.

I am a little freaked out right now. And really super excited. Not to mention I can hardly think straight or write correctly for that matter. My brain is refusing to absorb any more of the German language. Overload? Maybe.

Last night as my sister and I were fine tuning our itinerary, I misspelled 'buy' THREE TIMES! I kept skipping the 'U'. We had a good laugh over it, obviously our little brains were tired. So what do I have left to get for my trip? I think I need some socks, having fresh new socks is the best for when you travel. I am also thinking of getting a pair of Dickies, they are very sturdy, look dressier than jeans and have just as much comfort. Also if we get caught in a down pour, they dry much faster than jeans. I also need some new walking shoes. I better get these soon so I can break them in BEFORE I go. Once upon a time I broke in skate shoes on a skate trip, bloody and blistery feet is what I got.

Today I am Mike.

Mike: *speaking into Hank’s bunny ear* I need to get out of this house.

Hank: *responding to Mike’s bunny ear* Ok

And that ladies and gentlemen is how I feel and why I will be disappearing to la la land this weekend. I hope I can convince my brother or sister to house sit for me.