19 April 2012


In preparation for my trip to Germany I read about important things like using the bathroom. Hold on, before you start thinking, "Damn this girl is going to another country and isn't even potty trained?!" No, no. I read that bathrooms are marked WC (for water closet) in Germany. Kind of important to know how bathrooms are labeled especially when one is going to be in Germany for several days. I really can't hold it THAT long. So, armed with the knowledge that a lavatory is labeled WC I did well at first. I had no problem locating bathrooms (another thing I read was that you had to pay to use most public lavatories) or carrying the correct amount of money to use the loo.

I don't know if this has happened to your or not but I know it's not just me. Have you ever had to pee so bad that you couldn't think straight? The only thing in your mind is the prospect of finding a lavatory and feeling that joy of finally being able to relieve yourself (NOT in your pants). You start having mad thoughts of popping into an alley or behind a bush just to feel the sweet relief you much desire. Then, you find a bathroom, you suddenly let the flood gates loose. When you are finished you feel like you are on top of the world. That frantic feeling, being unable to think straight, it's all gone! Suddenly you feel like you are thinking with the utmost clarity and you can take on anything. Well I had to go pee pretty bad while in Munich, REALLY bad.

Here is how far my stupidity goes when I have to pee. It was night time in Munich, my sister and I are cruising around using public transportation. So I figure at our next stop I will find myself a place to go bathroom. So we get to the next bahn stop and I am not seeing too much at this stop. Then I spy a blue square box with picture of a guy and gal. Sweet! That's gotta be the bathroom. My sister and I hop on the elevator and when we get to the street level I look around confused. What the hell?! Where the fuck is the loo??? I look across the street and I see another blue square with a guy and gal inside pointing down. Is the potty on the other side? No, it can't be. So my sister and I take the elevator down. By now the people we just saw waiting for the train have to be wondering what the heck is wrong with us.

We round the corner walk up the stairs and get to the other side because that was the direction we needed to go. My sister who was not in a pee induced state of delirium starts to laugh because we were basically both light weight retarded at this point. The little blue sign with the man and woman is the sign for a lift. An ELEVATOR. Not a bathroom!!! In my mind I thought it was the typical restroom sign I have grown up seeing and used to. I had to pee so bad that I had convinced myself that the sign for the lift meant there was a restroom near by. Oh my god!!!!

Not me but it probably looked like me!

By now I have to pee so hard I try not to laugh. But how could we not laugh at ourselves?! Stupid girls. People watching us probably thinking we were either drunk, on drugs or just plain idiots. So we got to the following train station and it was a major one. I KNEW I would find relief but made sure to look for the WC sign and not another damn lift sign. God it was so hard not to loose bladder control from laughing at myself. I find the bathroom, which happened to be one of the few free public lavatories and it was awful. I didn't care! I found myself an empty stall and hover peed. My sister found the bathroom far too disgusting and opted to hold it till later. Obviously I have the bladder of an infant and she has a bladder the size of Montana. From this point on it was a running joke every time we saw the lift sign, "Hey Susie, do you need to go to the bathroom?"

Incidentally the WC I had to use was not only the dirtiest one I found while in Germany, it also had a vending machine. The vending machine had condoms, a mini vibrator and a finger French Tickler. Go figure! I did not purchase any items from this machine but I had to get a picture, even though the quality is not so great.

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