2 Qualms

These should probably be thrown under the pet peeve category....(three if you count the fact that I think I honestly am losing my memory.)

1.)  First and foremost.... I am NOT a prude but god damn it if every stupid movie I want to watch these days has to be sprinkled with several sex scenes.  I DO NOT want 5, 2 minute segments in every movie involving sweaty backs, nail clawing and thrusting with inaccurate moaning.  That is 10 minutes a movie of sex that I am not having.... why would you want me to watch that Hollywood???  Also, what's up with the recent gratuitous penis/ball shots these days???

Some of my favorite movies have sex scenes but not every god damn scene change.  What ever happened to the movie montage?  Seriously!  I end up grabbing the remote to fast forward through the poorly done sex scenes.  Look, I KNOW sex sells.  So either make a damn porn or get the fuck out of my story line!  I have found myself watching K-dramas/K-Movies because even a kiss scene is over the top.  -_-  I can't even watch certain shit in my own house cause I don't need Andy watching crotch/tit shots.  Don't get me wrong, I saw that shit as a kid but seriously it was a brief blink not 2 minutes of grunt-tastic action.  I fucking hate watching fucking sex scenes in my plot related movies.  You either get a movie or you get porn.... why does it have to be both?!?!?!  Was Boogie Nights not enough?????

Unfounded Allegations

If the last episode of Reluctant Motherhood wasn't enough to make me want to run for the hills screaming, it's gotten even better.  Or is it worse?  We got a phone call from Child Welfare Services because we have been reported for domestic violence and drug abuse.  The only abuse going on is my poor, frail mind having to assist in rearing a child that is not mine and not right.  Maybe CWS can take me away.  Whoever reported these lies is more than welcome to take Andy home and tell me if they survive, sanity in tact, after 2 weeks.  No, even one week with him.

So the day we got the call advising us to come down and answer some questions at the CWS office, they had already interviewed Andy at school.  And at first I was worried about having CWS poking about our business.  And then I got curious as to who would possibly make such wild allegations!  And then it was mild amusement that some busy body had nothing better to do than make up stories about two people trying their best to raise a mini-tyrant.  Bring it, we have nothing to hide and are not doing a damn thing wrong.  Investigate away!

Bad things happen to good people.

I was a lazy shit this week.  I didn't run since last week, not once, until today.  My sister, who doesn't run, decided to come run along with me.  She had her best mile time in, well, since ever!  I had a nice shower and said my goodbyes to my mister and his son.  Went on my way to a Pampered Chef Party... I promised I would.  So off I went to have my shower; so my sister could take me with, to her house and then have her shower too.  The plan was we could go to the party from her house after her shower.

I waited at her house while I had a nice long chat with her room mate.  This is her first year teaching and she has a bit of a tough student.  Andy's teacher is also in her first year, having a tough student being none other than Andy.  After my sister had her shower we headed over to the glorified Tupperware Party.  By this time (11.30) I was famished.  A 5k run, only a smoothy in my belly; I was looking forward to the snacks these parties provide.  I was considering what to pile onto my second cake-slice sized plate of food when I heard my phone ring.

"You remember, Antwan Rockamora?"

"Half black, half Samoan, used to call him Tony Rocky  Horror." - Jules

Long story short Tony Rocky Horror got pushed out of the window of a 4-story building.  For giving another man's wife a foot massage, supposedly.

Is it me or does that foot look a little on the large side?

A co-worker casually mentioned that he wouldn't want to have anyone other than his wife give him a massage.  How the conversation came up I don't recall.  But it made me think about my own situation.  I have been in the mood for a massage.  I know I can ask the mister for one but I want one from someone else.  Not anyone in specific, but the little Asian place at the mall looks to be promising.  I am in need of a good deep tissue massage and a foot massage for good measure.

Now here is my thought, would my Marcellus be upset if another man gave his wife a massage?  Or does the sex of the masseuse not matter?  Would it be okay with my Marcellus if the masseuse was a woman (with very strong hands)?  Being technically still a newlywed since we have yet to hit the 7-year itch (doubtful of this happening but marriage/divorce rates seem to prove otherwise)... I am assuming neither would be a problem.  No need for suspicions to be raised about happy endings and such.  Plus, he isn't a jealous guy over trivial things like massages.  Or are all guys territorial when it comes to things like massages.  See, here I am second guessing my assumption because I for one am not a guy.  Two, I wouldn't care if he got a massage without a happy ending of course. 

So instead of assuming and entering into a common reason for marital quarrel: non-communication; I need to ask.  And what would be the most diplomatic way of asking?

"I want a massage, but not from you.  Is that okay?"  Hmm probably not the best way to ask.  They should have offered a class in tact when I went to school, I need it.

All of the stress of moving, packing, paying deposits and switching utilities... I need a massage from a professional (or the Asians at the mall).  I am thinking maybe suggest a couples massage, we both go get our kinks worked out together.  [All you get your head out of the gutter!  I mean tension kinks not sexual kinks.  Oh for fucks sake it all sounds dirty with the word kink involved.]  Maybe I just need to douse the liver in a bottle of wine and be done with my need for a massage.  Seriously though, my neck and shoulders are so tight it's making sleep and swimming annoying.

I guess my other alternative is to see the chiropractor and make sure that I get a massage after being adjusted.  And going to get a pedicure but make sure they spend extra time on the massage part of the pedicure.  Diplomacy; not my strong suit. 

Wasting Money

If you have money to burn by all means do so.  If you have a hobby you like to sink money into, do it!  It's good to have a hobby.  Some people save up their extra money and take a vacation.  I do both, I use spare cash on hobbies and vacationing.  It's fun money, I use it on something fun... something other than bills that have to get paid.  

Health Screenings

Aside from the work enforced piss and TB test, I haven't really had one.  Not from my job and not on my own accord.  Ignorance is bliss?

A few weeks ago work promised me a cool 20 bucks for a health screening.  All I had to do was give them 15 minutes of my time and a drop of blood.  20 bucks you say?  In the fine words of Homer J. Simpson, "Mmmm beer," so I figured what the hell!  Let's do it.

Discussing The Finer Points of Consoles

The hubs hates consoles but I have a nostalgic soft spot for them.

?!  No, not that kind.

Well as far as he sees it, probably the same type of soft spot.

In my defense (probably not a good example at my level of ridiculousness) I stopped at PS3, Gamecube, PSP and DS.  But I do like to keep abreast of gaming news, up 'n' coming consoles and consumer reaction.  What it comes down to is, I don't play games like I used to AND I can find a ROM for most of what I have the urge to play.  So why invest in a new console when the ones I have are good enough?  I don't know, maybe to show off....to no one in my age group that gives a rats ass.

Warning do not continue any further if you are a fan of XBawx or Cock of Doody.

The Other Woman

Nah I didn't go wrecking houses.  But I did happen to land on this movie sort of at the right time.  IF there is such a thing as the right time.

Getting married at my ripe old age of; in my 30's, hasn't really taught me any more than I already knew .  By my age, unless I marry a tot out of high school, my partner will have already partnered before (several times).  Sometimes these partnerings (I am making up words, leave me alone!) tread into that murky water I call, procreation.

I volunteered not to participate in the enriching, diluting or anything having to do with gene pools.  One of me is more than enough (mom has thanked me, no joke).  People pee in pools, I would like to stay out of them.  

I back-peddaled in my personal plan not to partner with a parent.  Shit happens, the dating world gets much smaller as you get older!  Whatever; making excuses for myself I suppose.  I still remain happily married... now I am just happily married with a 10 year old on his way. 

I have to play step-mom.  For how long?  I dunno, I THINK just for the summer.  But then again (see paragraph above) we have seen how far my thinking has gotten me.  No excuses, I should have planned from day one.  This could happen at any time... and that time is now.

I think I have to do right by society and the parents.  I think I need to find some guidelines to post on fridge next to the sign that says:

 

And hopefully I won't end up in the dog house by the parents for being stupid.  Or as part of the long list of Wicked Step-mothers!  My biggest fear is failure... and failing at raising kids can be pretty disastrous (or interesting if good biographies are written). 

I suppose I should get back to apartment hunting... the only door inside my current place is one to the bathroom.  I think I need (the step-son probably will too) more privacy than that. 

Now where did I stash that bottle of wine I was looking for???

Why is Susie lagging at blog posts? - Part 3

The big day!

"Time to wake up sleepy head, your brother is getting married today." - me

Mister is being a sleepy bum.

Heart attack in a can: REVISITED

I now interrupt your irregularly scheduled programing of, "Why is Susie lagging at blog posts? - Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 and Part 4." to bring you an important news flash:

I dunno!

That was my answer when my husband asked, "What is it?"

Sunday afternoon I came home from my mom's house with tripas.  She had put some aside for me and since she knew I liked them she called me to get some.  So I came home and was absentmindedly popping tripas in my mouth when I asked my mister, "Hey, you want some tripas?"

"What is it?"

"I dunno just come over here and try it."

He comes into the kitchen and pops one of these in his mouth:

I guess I am lucky my husband is an adventurous eater.

Where have you been Susie?

Two weeks Susie, two weeks and no blog post.

Where the hell have you been?!

Do you not love your blog anymore?

Don't worry I am here!  

Don't cry.  

I was busy doing this:

No, no!  I wasn't getting married.  I did that last year.  I was busy being a part of a wedding.  My god weddings are a tiring and costly thing!  I am so glad to have had a tiny wedding without a wedding party because being a bridesmaid was so daunting.  I am honored to have been a bridesmaid in my friends wedding.  I really hope I don't have to be one any time soon again.  It's hard work!  

Being a part of the wedding party is tough work.  You have to prepare, rehearse, help decorate the church/reception hall and help clean it all up too.  **Note to self: Remember when helping clean the reception hall, change shoes/clothes.**  I wore heels for over 10 hours, my feet are still not the same.  That's the longest I have ever worn heels in my whole life combined!  In the end, I am happy to say that the bride and groom were appreciative of the help.  And their wedding and reception went well, at least I think it did.  I am happy to report there were no Bridezilla moments or cold feet or any of that nonsense.  

The wedding party.

I am happy my friends had a beautiful ceremony and a fun reception.  I am also happy life can go back to normal and no more planning is needed for their wedding.  Congrats Derek and Nina!

Happy Birthiversary to us!!!

For those that don't know the mister and I married on our birthday.  June 19th, yes we share a birthday and now an anniversary too!

 One married year down.  

500 hundred more to go!

Birthday number thirty-two and 500 more to go?  

Oh god I hope not, could you imagine?!

Me at 500?  Oh I hope not!

Happy Valentine's Day!

I was very excited to get to work today because my mister's Valentine's gift was being delivered to my office. I needed it to come to my office so I can surprise him when I get home, it's no fun if I don't get to see the look of excitement on his face when he gets it.

A bit ago his power supply died, I told him it was the PSU but he said it wasn't. I was right, but that is neither here nor there. So I figured he would probably need a new PSU if he wants to use his main computer. Lately he has been playing a low graphics game on his laptop, so it's not like he doesn't have a computer to use. Mister Mopey would be very happy and pleased if his computer was up and running again. I hopped online to Newegg and ordered this 750w PSU (crappy pic, sorry):

Coolmax 750w PSU!

I prepared for Valentine's Day but I failed to prepare for the gift!!! Yet again I had to rig up some wrapping paper at work like I did one Christmas. The sad part is unlike Christmas I don't have any glossy PC Mags to use for his wrap job. All I have is today's newspaper and some not so pretty pieces of origami paper. So I decided to take the funny's and the Valentine's Day shout outs and tape the two pages together. I wrapped the PSU in the newspaper (my hands are now black!) and decided the box was too plain. I need a bow or something, I had 3 sheets of shit brown origami paper and orange. I did the best I could to rig up a little bow type device for the present. It all looked fine except the bow's center was showing this glob of tape I used to assemble the bow. I went out back to the cage to look for a broken computer part to use. I thought a power button would be a cute idea since it's a hint to what is in the box, but alas I settled on a CR2025 3v battery. I think it looks awesome:

It's not the best wrap job and I made do with what I had but it's the thought that counts right? It's what's inside that really matters since most wrapping paper gets tossed moments after the present is unwrapped (unless you are those freakish paper wrap hoarders). I think maybe since I put so much effort into the wrapping and I saved the planet by reusing today's paper, I am winning at the present game. In the future I should just have some wrapping supplies at the office since I can't be sneaky and wrap his presents at home.

What did you do for Valentine's day?

I got married.

I suppose I will eventually dig up pictures and post them but here is one for you now. Now the mister and I can share our birthday and anniversary all on the same day. So convenient!

I think about 20 minutes or so after the "I do's" we both quickly hopped into jeans and t-shirts. What can I say we are creatures of habit AND comfort. I did really like the dress and the shoes though. And this will probably one of the handful of times I will see Joey in a tie. Hmmm.... July of 2012 will be the next time. Our friends will be married and we will be in their wedding.