29 May 2013

Health Screenings

Aside from the work enforced piss and TB test, I haven't really had one.  Not from my job and not on my own accord.  Ignorance is bliss?

A few weeks ago work promised me a cool 20 bucks for a health screening.  All I had to do was give them 15 minutes of my time and a drop of blood.  20 bucks you say?  In the fine words of Homer J. Simpson, "Mmmm beer," so I figured what the hell!  Let's do it.

Total Cholesterol: 152 <- under 200 is good
HDL Cholesterol: 92 <-more than 55mg is good
TC/HDL Ratio: 1.6 <- under 4.0 is good
Glucose: 101 <- under 140 is good
Blood Pressure: 109/69 <-Between 90/60 to 120/80 is good
Pulse: 63 <- between 60 and 90 while resting is good
BMI: 24 <- in the normal range (the top of the normal range)
Body Fat%: 26% <-  mmmm bacon! (20-39% is good)
Waist/Hip Ratio: .78 ,<- under .8 is good (it's not my fault momma gave me no hips!)

All in all I am doing just fine.  So my co-workers want to know what I am eating to keep my choloesterol numbers so good.

"Moderate consumption of alcohol can raise levels of HDL "good" cholesterol by as much as 10%.  Doctors say up to one drink a day makes sense for women, up to two a day for men.  But given the risks of excessive drinking, the American Hearth Association cautions against increasing your alcohol intake or starting to drink if you don't already."

"A daily glass of red wine or other alcoholic beverage may help lower your risk for cardiovascular disease by up to 40%.  That's because the ethanol in all forms of alcohol helps increase HDL cholesterol and prevent blood clots.  The key is moderation: no more than one drink per day for the ladies; two for the gents.

So Susie, what have you been eating?  The simple answer:  Martini's, wine and beer.
The complicated answer, my diet does not meet the American Standard of burgers, fries or the continuous snack of processed food.  Forget suggesting food out of the norm to people, no one wants to hear it.  Ya know what else people don't want to know about....

I think exercise has something to do with my good numbers more so than my penchant for drinking (my liver probably hates me).  Ultimately the reason I exercise isn't to avoid excessive girth.  It's to avoid those moments of weakness we all have but most don't usually act on.

"Do you have the slightest idea what a moral and ethical principle is?  Do you?  Has it ever occurred to you what would happen to my future, if I were to fail to live up to my responsibilities?"

"I'm not gonna hurt you."

Light, of my life.  I'm not gonna hurt ya.  You didn't let me finish my sentence.  I said, I'm not gonna hurt ya.  I'm just going to bash your brains in.  Gonna bash 'em right the fuck in!"

These days... life is so strange.
But at least I have my health (maybe not mental health) so I'll drink to that!

 There is no miracle pill/answer to cure your ails America.  Either mental or physical, you want to fix something you gotta bring out the whole toolbox not just some scotch tape and Elmer's glue.

Time to go our for another run, so many health benefits.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Comments are welcome and sometimes moderated.