It's no secret that I have openly hated on my sister on this blog. I have complained about her maintaining the ability to be a parent to the children she DOES have in custody. And that I haven't exactly had the best of relationships with my nephews, my sisters youngest namely.
I don't know if with age I am becoming more forgiving or just becoming a more decaffeinated version of myself. Someone took the wizz bang out of my attitude or something! Over the course of the last few months I have actually spoken at my sister, spoken to her and actually am trying to establish a cordial relationship with her.
- It's about time. It's time to let bygones be bygones? Well honestly it takes more energy to stay upset than to just be cordial. It's been a while, she has yet to relapse. I still say yet and that is sad... but there is a tiny thing in the back of my hurt little heart that KNOWS it can, and very well may happen.
- She is trying. No, really, she is! I mean from the looks of it she has been steady trying at least for the last year to get back into a routine with my nephews that I haven't seen since, well shit I dunno. The last time I saw the oldest one he had not even started kinder yet.... I think he is in high school now? I know, I know, "Do. Or do not. There is no try." So as far as I can tell right now she IS doing. For how long? I don't know and it is not for me to judge. I will cross that bridge when it gets here.
- I want to lead by example. My nephews know my sister and I don't see eye to eye. Hell for a long time we only saw fist to bloody fist (another story, for another time)! I don't need my nephews to see that type of hate exist in our family. I don't want them to be quick to fight instead of work through their disagreements.
- My mom. I mean really, just like my nephews, she doesn't want to see family fighting. It's a fact that family problems arise but there is no sense in holding grudges that long. I mean I am sure my mom rests easier at night knowing her children are at the very least on speaking terms, right?
I swallowed my pride, sometimes I do that, and asked my sister if I could take my nephew to the Strawberry Festival. She agreed to let me take him! I told her I would not take Malachi because... well that's another anger fueled post for another time. But we ran into Malachi and his dad so I urged Lucas to ride some rides with him. We all had a good time. So good I eventually made Lucas green and sick from a spinny ride... oh kids! They sure don't make them like they used to (the kids I mean). I love me some carnival death trap rides but it seems anyone I ever go with ends up sick.
|In the funhouse with Lucas.|
|Trying out the Tilt-A-Whirl with Lucas and Malachi.|
|Taking a break from my 4th time down the slide watching my nephews.|
So, I am on the long road to healing wounds: self-inflicted, inflicted on others and hopefully those that were inflicted on me. I hope things get better, though the pissy pessimist in me is nagging and tugging in the opposite direction. Damn family! Always forcing you to make those hard choices in life.