07 May 2013

Healing Old Wounds

It's no secret that I have openly hated on my sister on this blog.  I have complained about her maintaining the ability to be a parent to the children she DOES have in custody.  And that I haven't exactly had the best of relationships with my nephews, my sisters youngest namely.

I don't know if with age I am becoming more forgiving or just becoming a more decaffeinated version of myself.  Someone took the wizz bang out of my attitude or something!  Over the course of the last few months I have actually spoken at my sister, spoken to her and actually am trying to establish a cordial relationship with her.


  • It's about time.  It's time to let bygones be bygones?  Well honestly it takes more energy to stay upset than to just be cordial.  It's been a while, she has yet to relapse.  I still say yet and that is sad... but there is a tiny thing in the back of my hurt little heart that KNOWS it can, and very well may happen.
  • She is trying.  No, really, she is!  I mean from the looks of it she has been steady trying at least for the last year to get back into a routine with my nephews that I haven't seen since, well shit I dunno.  The last time I saw the oldest one he had not even started kinder yet.... I think he is in high school now?  I know, I know, "Do. Or do not.  There is no try."  So as far as I can tell right now she IS doing.  For how long?  I don't know and it is not for me to judge.  I will cross that bridge when it gets here.
  • I want to lead by example.  My nephews know my sister and I don't see eye to eye.  Hell for a long time we only saw fist to bloody fist (another story, for another time)!  I don't need my nephews to see that type of hate exist in our family.  I don't want them to be quick to fight instead of work through their disagreements.  
  • My mom.  I mean really, just like my nephews, she doesn't want to see family fighting.  It's a fact that family problems arise but there is no sense in holding grudges that long.  I mean I am sure my mom rests easier at night knowing her children are at the very least on speaking terms, right?

I swallowed my pride, sometimes I do that, and asked my sister if I could take my nephew to the Strawberry Festival.  She agreed to let me take him!  I told her I would not take Malachi because... well that's another anger fueled post for another time.  But we ran into Malachi and his dad so I urged Lucas to ride some rides with him.  We all had a good time.  So good I eventually made Lucas green and sick from a spinny ride... oh kids!  They sure don't make them like they used to (the kids I mean).  I love me some carnival death trap rides but it seems anyone I ever go with ends up sick.

In the funhouse with Lucas.

Trying out the Tilt-A-Whirl with Lucas and Malachi.

Taking a break from my 4th time down the slide watching my nephews.
 So, I am on the long road to healing wounds: self-inflicted, inflicted on others and hopefully those that were inflicted on me.  I hope things get better, though the pissy pessimist in me is nagging and tugging in the opposite direction.  Damn family!  Always forcing you to make those hard choices in life. 

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