07 May 2013

Healing Old Wounds


It's no secret that I have openly hated on my sister on this blog.  I have complained about her maintaining the ability to be a parent to the children she DOES have in custody.  And that I haven't exactly had the best of relationships with my nephews, my sisters youngest namely.

I don't know if with age I am becoming more forgiving or just becoming a more decaffeinated version of myself.  Someone took the wizz bang out of my attitude or something!  Over the course of the last few months I have actually spoken at my sister, spoken to her and actually am trying to establish a cordial relationship with her.



Because

  • It's about time.  It's time to let bygones be bygones?  Well honestly it takes more energy to stay upset than to just be cordial.  It's been a while, she has yet to relapse.  I still say yet and that is sad... but there is a tiny thing in the back of my hurt little heart that KNOWS it can, and very well may happen.
  • She is trying.  No, really, she is!  I mean from the looks of it she has been steady trying at least for the last year to get back into a routine with my nephews that I haven't seen since, well shit I dunno.  The last time I saw the oldest one he had not even started kinder yet.... I think he is in high school now?  I know, I know, "Do. Or do not.  There is no try."  So as far as I can tell right now she IS doing.  For how long?  I don't know and it is not for me to judge.  I will cross that bridge when it gets here.
  • I want to lead by example.  My nephews know my sister and I don't see eye to eye.  Hell for a long time we only saw fist to bloody fist (another story, for another time)!  I don't need my nephews to see that type of hate exist in our family.  I don't want them to be quick to fight instead of work through their disagreements.  
  • My mom.  I mean really, just like my nephews, she doesn't want to see family fighting.  It's a fact that family problems arise but there is no sense in holding grudges that long.  I mean I am sure my mom rests easier at night knowing her children are at the very least on speaking terms, right?
Results?
Yes!  
How?

I swallowed my pride, sometimes I do that, and asked my sister if I could take my nephew to the Strawberry Festival.  She agreed to let me take him!  I told her I would not take Malachi because... well that's another anger fueled post for another time.  But we ran into Malachi and his dad so I urged Lucas to ride some rides with him.  We all had a good time.  So good I eventually made Lucas green and sick from a spinny ride... oh kids!  They sure don't make them like they used to (the kids I mean).  I love me some carnival death trap rides but it seems anyone I ever go with ends up sick.

In the funhouse with Lucas.

Trying out the Tilt-A-Whirl with Lucas and Malachi.

Taking a break from my 4th time down the slide watching my nephews.
 So, I am on the long road to healing wounds: self-inflicted, inflicted on others and hopefully those that were inflicted on me.  I hope things get better, though the pissy pessimist in me is nagging and tugging in the opposite direction.  Damn family!  Always forcing you to make those hard choices in life. 

No comments:

Post a Comment

Comments are welcome and sometimes moderated.