20 March 2012

Did I hit a raw nerve?

Once upon a time, my sister decided she wanted to procreate and not have to bother with the consequences of her actions. (She didn't necessarily 'decide' to procreate as much as she was a whore that didn't care if she got knocked up or diseased.) People who know me, know full well I do not agree with what my sister has done.

First, she brings 2 boys into the world and because she was too busy getting fucked up on drugs, she loses custody of the boys. With that the rest of the family is told they are not allowed to see the children. So the last time I saw either of the boys they were little guys, not even in grade school yet. I had birthday and Christmas gifts for them. I had arranged to meet with the father and the boys at a coffee shop. Well when I arrived to the shop, only their father was there and he tried to make a pass at me. That was not the first time he had tried that move either. I was repulsed and saddened because I knew I would never be seeing those boys ever again.

There they are on the right, the first picture is of Jacob he is the eldest. Then the following picture is that of Anthony, her 2nd boy. She lost custody of these two guys to her ex-husband. Why? Because she was too busy fucked up on drugs. If you ask her why she missed her court date she will say, "You guys don't understand what I was going through." Damn straight!!! I didn't get knocked up and strung out AND miss a custody hearing, of course I don't understand. She made her fucking bed and then didn't want to lay in it.

What's even shittier is she has 2 younger boys. She only has custody of them because my mom was kind enough to watch them while she was busy being a drug addict and when she was in jail. The younger two boys didn't get stuck in the middle of a custody battle because their fathers were in jail too. Oh the story just gets better.

So my sister got out of the pen a while back and took custody of her younger two boys. She proceeds to tell my mom that she is having second thoughts about having her kids. Second thoughts!!! It's a little too late for an abortion now Emily. This ticked me off to no end hearing this. The whole time her younger boys are getting letters from their lying cunt of a mother. She promises them the world, that they will live with her and bla bla bla. Same old song and dance that sober addicts chant while they are locked up: I found god. I will never use again. This time will be different. ..... The lies just go on and on. They just don't stop.

So one night in a drunken rage, I picked up the phone and called my sister. The one I do not speak to???? Yea, that one.

Did I break your concentration?

Well she didn't expect the phone call at all. And I pretty much gave her what for. I told her what I thought of her, her parenting skills, her poor life choices and ultimately how she wiped her hands clean of the two older boys as if they didn't exist. (I don't think her third child even remembers the older two. And the youngest never met the first two boys.) She never talked about them. She never tried to open lines of communication with them through the courts. It's as if the moment she lost custody she was done. And I pretty much told her that to me it looked like that's what she wanted. Especially since getting custody of her younger boys she has complained about not wanting them. Strike a sore spot? Maybe.

I don't know.

I was angry. I was drunk. I had had enough! I was tired of hearing the whole family complain about her and talk about how horrible she is. No one said shit to her because she was on SSI because of mental problems because no one likes to deal with her getting mad. She is violent. Well I wasn't gonna sit back and just watch. FUCK THAT! What ever problems she may have now is because of her drug abuse. Honestly I think she is faking being mental to avoid having a get a real job and make money the honest way. She used her kids to sign up for every benefit under the sun even when her kids weren't even living with her! IF the state deems her crazy enough to be excused from working and get money.... why do they find her competent enough to drive a car? Or competent enough to raise children? WHY??? Horseshit is what I say.

Let's fast forward to this Sunday. My mom is watching my younger two nephews and she mentions that she is babysitting them. Of course me being the Nasty Nancy in regards to anything Emily related. I pop off at the mouth and ask my mom, "What lame excuse did she give you for not watching her kids this time?" My mom says, "She is having a visitation with the other boys."

I was floored. I seriously ate my words so fast I got indigestion!!! She was joking right, she had to be. No, no she was not joking. I was dumbfounded and for once in a really long time, I saw quiet. I had nothing to say. Finally, I said, "It's about time!" Inside I still felt malice towards my sister but happy. Happy that whatever caused her to seek out her boys happened. My mom told me a bit about the custody battle and how we had rights to see the boys this whole time but were told we were not. That really hurt me.

On the drive home, I started to think about the boys. How I ended up unwrapping their presents to return them to Toys R Us because I wasn't able to give them to the kids. How often I blamed my sister for killing grandma because she lost custody of her boys. These boys were my grandma's only great grand-kids. I think it really killed her to see them get taken away. My grandmother passed a few months after the boys were gone. I started to wonder if the boys would even remember any of us. Would they after so many years?

Late that night I got two picture messages from my sister Lily. It was pictures of the boys as they look now! Jacob is now 13 and Anthony is 12 years old. My my how time flies. I replied back asking which was which, even though in my mind I kinda thought I knew. Jacob had a cute dimple as a kid so I assumed the kiddo with the bowl hair cut ant the dimple was Jacob. And the kid with the goofy, strained, fake smile was Anthony. Lily replied back saying that I was wrong. @_@ What?! Seriously??? I can't be wrong. {{Edit: My sister Lily says that the order in which she sent the pictures was different from the order I received them. That is why I thought she couldn't tell the difference between the nephews.}}

As it turned out I was right all along. The boys on the left there, that is Jacob and then Anthony. Even my sister Lily who was much closer to the boys couldn't make out which was which. We are adults. If we have hard time figuring out who is who, I think the boys will have the same trouble. I don't think they will remember me. I wonder how they will get along with the younger two, Lucas and Malachi?

I came from a broken home but at least us kids were kept together. I couldn't imagine what these boys have to go through. Growing up knowing they have siblings out there some where but not meeting them until much later in life. I really hope things go smoothly.

Ultimately I wonder, did that drunken phone call spark something? Were my words hateful enough to awaken a part in Emily she had long killed? Was she finally seeking out her older kids because someone finally told her what they were afraid to for so long?

I hope so. And if it isn't because of me, so what. I am just happy that the boys will be part of our family again.

Now if only my sister could finally realize that her off and on again druggy husband is a no good two timing piece of shit, all could start getting better again. I really think she needs to peep his Facebook, the man has no shame hounding on girls WHEN HE IS MARRIED!

A family in harmony will prosper in everything. - Chinese Proverb

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