30 May 2013

Earthquakes and Stupids


At 7:38 am a 4.8 earthquake ROCKED the central coast (Wednesday, 29th of May, 2013).  Off the coast of Isla Vista, California to be exact.

"Then we went to the ocean to look for a tsunami."


Really?  You go to the ocean to LOOK for a tsunami?!

Oh sure you know,  kinda like you go the bathroom to find the smell of shit.  

WHY?!

I could say I don't know but that would be lying.  
I know... I know all too well. 

Just do a Google image search for Isla Vista.  Go ahead, please go look.  

Still don't understand?  Urban Dictionary does a far better job of explaining why people go looking for tsunami.  I know this for a fact because once upon a time, I took my roommate to party in Isla Vista after a brutal breakup.  How else can you cheer up a guy in his early twenties?  I figured chicks, booze (or whatever else) and parties.  Did the trick!  By Monday morning, he was cured of his broken heart. But that's another story for another time.

"We ran around the house screaming in our pajamas."

Uh, ya'll are still drunk or high.  First off NO ONE in Isla Vista wakes up before 8am.  NO ONE.  Chances are they are STILL awake from last night.

I'm not trying to make light of an earthquake... but it wasn't anything to get hysterical about.  If it had been; running around in pajamas was NOT the right thing to do.  I mean, maybe if pajamas means, bikini bottoms and no tops... and the running continues outside.  I am sure the masses would be lulled into calmness (or shock) by an ocean of bouncing breasts.

FOCUS!  I'm being serious here!


I felt it 60 miles away, no big deal.  The last one I felt before that was in 2003 and that one kept going for a minute.  Broke my window even!  Why is this 'breaking news' and what is the big deal?  Not a single thing was reported damaged, broken and no one was hurt.  (Did you watch the video in the news link?  If you skipped that part, in a liquor store filled with bottles NOTHING broke.) The only thing that was hurt was kids puny brains being woken up with a hangover before their usual rise and shine of 2pm.

I wish the dumb kids in IV would just lemming themselves into the ocean.  THIS IS WHY I DON'T WATCH THE NEWS.  It makes me stupider and angry at mankind.

Now excuse me while I try to go to my happy place.

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