17 October 2013

Unfounded Allegations

If the last episode of Reluctant Motherhood wasn't enough to make me want to run for the hills screaming, it's gotten even better.  Or is it worse?  We got a phone call from Child Welfare Services because we have been reported for domestic violence and drug abuse.  The only abuse going on is my poor, frail mind having to assist in rearing a child that is not mine and not right.  Maybe CWS can take me away.  Whoever reported these lies is more than welcome to take Andy home and tell me if they survive, sanity in tact, after 2 weeks.  No, even one week with him.

So the day we got the call advising us to come down and answer some questions at the CWS office, they had already interviewed Andy at school.  And at first I was worried about having CWS poking about our business.  And then I got curious as to who would possibly make such wild allegations!  And then it was mild amusement that some busy body had nothing better to do than make up stories about two people trying their best to raise a mini-tyrant.  Bring it, we have nothing to hide and are not doing a damn thing wrong.  Investigate away!


And then I realized it was only a matter of time.  Andy is less than truthful and likes to beg.  You know that kid that you see and you roll your eyes and think, "Jesus some fucking parenting that kid is getting!"  We have that kid and it's not even our fault.  But we are the ones getting the sideways glances of people assuming we are the shit bag parents that have made Andy who he is today.  So either someone heard him claiming that he is "starving", the damn kid has probably never eaten so good in his life!  Or he made mention about his mother using drugs; to him cigarettes and beer constitute drugs.  And yea they are but not the kind that the law is really too concerned with.  But he doesn't even live with her.  Or the school is concerned because some where between home and school he is rolling about in a mud pit and looks like a homeless dirty boy.  I know first hand because I was the lucky short straw winner that got to accompany Andy on his latest field trip.

So they interviewed Andy at school, when he got home he told us that he was asked a bunch of questions.  He hardly remembered anything aside from explaining that his father is fair to him.  So we really didn't know what else he told them because he didn't remember.  The following day we had our appointment down at CWS.  I would have preferred them to come to my house so they could SEE with their own eyes that Andy has it pretty damn good for a kid his age.  The meeting was an hour long so I had to take time out of work to go answer to allegations of drug abuse/violence.  I work for a school for fuck sakes, how the hell?  Why even?  Yet again getting profiled by our lack of Super-Sizedness.

I got a lecture from the CWS workers about saying that I hate children.  Am I supposed to lie???  Andy once asked me if I was going to procreate.  And I told him that under no circumstance would I ever create a human.  And he asked me why.  I gave him the honest to god truth, "Because I hate kids Andy, that's why."  And that was the end of the conversation with him.  Apparently through out everything else he chooses not to remember he remembered that and told the CWS workers that I hate children.  I told the workers that I do hate children and I did not want to lie to him.  I was setting a good example by answering direct questions with an honest answer.  I mean I am not gonna feed him laced cookies V.C. Andrew's style, that would put my freedom and livelihood in jeopardy.  But I am not about to lie to him when we are trying to break him of that nasty habit.

They asked us if there was any drug use in the house and how we discipline Andy.  That was the end of that.  They basically advised my husband about securing custodial rights over Andy.  They basically told us that living with us is the right place for Andy to be.  That he should not return to the place that made him the way he is.  And gave us a list of places to call for assistance but did not even offer phone numbers.  They basically said, "You have internet right?  Just Google the following places {withheld because of law related crap we will end up having to deal with, blog post on that later}."  That was it, no help with anything.  Instead they asked us a bunch of questions regarding Andy's mother.  Who knows, sounds like the problems we are having with her are common in the CWS system.  Their major concern is her receiving aide for Andy when she does not have him living with her.

So CWS basically wasted an hour of our time telling us we are doing the right thing for Andy.  Duh!  And telling us we need to get legal paperwork in order; which we have been having a hard time with but they offered no help.  I know there are other kids with more immediate needs but well, at this point we can't even take him to a doctor because his birth certificate has only the mother's name on it.  And we don't have paperwork stating that Joey is the bio-father or even the legal guardian.  We do have a shit ton of his child support statements but that is not enough to prove Joey is the father.  They didn't have any problem thinking he was the dad when they were taking his money every pay check!!!! It's all a bunch of forms and red tape to do things the right way and it's taken this long because the mother has been difficult to work with.  Laws are in favor of the mother's when it comes to custody.  It's unfair and wrong especially when some mothers are useless cunts.  Speaking of cunts, I was at the continuation high school working last week when I heard a pregnant teen on her third pregnancy tell a teacher, "If I have another baby I will get more money for him."  It angers me, if you want your pussy to be a money factory get sterile and sell it.  Don't continue propagating the problem by making more of you!  Here I am deviating again, sorry.

Anyway, I think CWS may be looking into the mother to determine if she is fraudulently collecting money, which I am willing to bet dollars to donuts she is.  They called us the day after they interviewed us and whoever else they may have had to.  They basically told us the report was unfounded and to keep doing a great job of helping Andy.  Thanks for nothing assholes!  I feel like I have been sucked into an unending episode of the Twilight Zone.  Since Andy has moved with us I have had to deal with moving, acclimating my poor dogs to a child, lice, bed wetting, bathroom nightmares, lying, stealing, my husband almost getting killed by thugs, dirty hand prints on everything, allegations of drug use, allegations of domestic abuse, spitting in the house, Andy being wasteful, random pencil marks on the wall, dirt tracked into my house, children knocking on my door complaining about Andy, property management calling to complain about Andy, the school calling to complain about Andy and the list goes on and on and on with no fucking end in sight.

I will not be bested by this little Satan in a Sunday hat!  He is sweet and nice but give him a week or two and he is a monster.  We warned his teacher and she said he was really sweet until the first week of school was over.  Then it was to the principal's office with him at least once a week since then.  I am on a waiting list for him to see a therapist.  He is supposed to be seeing someone at school once a week for counseling due to his behavior issues.  I will not be bested by a 10 year old but god damn it something's got to give.  People that procreate do this to themselves.  They have to rear what they make.  I got the shitty end of the stick by having a monstrosity of a child tainted by their mother's horrible upbringing living at my house because I was foolish enough to get married.  And ya know all these times I hear divorced couples tell their kids that the divorce was not their fault.  Bullshit!  If a divorce happens I am not sugar coating it for anyone.  Things were fine and dandy before Andy.

The really sad part is I feel sorry for him.  I am so sad that his own flesh and blood, his mother, has made him the way he is.  We won't be sending him back home to his mother.  While he has stayed with us he has written to her and called her; she has yet to call him or send him a letter.  How simple it is for someone to wipe their hands clean of the mess they make and pass it on.  A little internet spying has shown that she is livin' it up being free and single (probably while funding her fun with government aide that is for Andy). If I were in his shoes I would be hurt.  I am sure he probably is hurt and misses his mom.  Probably the root of some of his behaviors too but there isn't anything we can do to repair the relationship between him and his mother.  The only thing Joey and I can do is provide a somewhat normal upbringing from here on out and try to repair a decade's worth of damage.  And shame on me for thinking it but there are somethings that we won't be able to repair.  Fact of the matter is no matter how much you restore and rebuild a wrecked car, it's never gonna be perfect.

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