Literally and figuratively!
Snarky, my dog was on the side of the bed I woke up on, that's a good thing. Nothing like waking up next to undying loyalty and wagging tails right? The morning started out so nicely, I was looking forward to work and later pottery. I was looking forward to the child returning to school until I was reminded what a pill it is to get him going to school. So my mood quickly shifted to snarky and seems to have stayed with me. I left while he was in the midst of his school routine, not listening, lolly gagging and running late as usual.
I feel like Hank right now.
Any moment now I feel like I could just be less helpful than I tend to be at work. Or tell a co-worker to shut up because I am tired of hearing about their children. There is a child in my house, I don't want to hear, see or be around others when I am at work. Work is the great escape and I like my job. Well at least until recently.
So today I am super snarky due to some powers that be? Or falling through the cracks? Or I don't know so I am just guessing? I have an interview tomorrow for a promotion. A promotion I have wanted for quite some time and hope to get. But recently I have been working in the capacity of the position I am hoping to get. I am supposed to be getting paid out of class for that work done. But for some reason I haven't gotten a cent of it. The union has taken notice of the run around I have been given; they have decided to take action. I would rather the feathers be ruffled AFTER the interview for fear it may make me a less desirable candidate. So I am nervous, annoyed and with the added snarkyness of today, feel like clearing the desk straight to the floor and possibly flipping a table.
My break time snack tastes like a bitter grapefruit instead of an orange. Why?! Why universe? Maybe it's karma for pushing Louis into poop or being mean to my brother that one time? I think lately, since the child has been on Winter Break for just over a month life has gotten horrid. Just last night, doing what I do to relax: cook, I made a mess. I also didn't like the way my sauce turned out but it was still edible. I mean it was good but not as good as my meals normally turn out. I don't feel the gumption for a run or feel unsatisfied when I do actually run. I do daydream about it often though. I feel like shit to be honest.
The child just had the hubs and I called down to the leasing office for vandalism and destruction of private property. They didn't press charges which is both good and bad. I think the fear of trouble is not real enough to him. I think he needs a trip to juvie... but then again that could be the start of a career in various concrete-reinforced housing facilities. I am thinking maybe he needs religion? Maybe he needs to be afraid of an invisible man in the sky, it works for many ex-cons. My sister included, it's worked magic for her. So he has started going to church with my sister. I know summer break will be camp, it has to be, whether he likes it or not. He obviously needs supervision every waking moment. And with almost 3 months of freedom during the summer, he needs something.
Funding doesn't cover summer school for most students, he MAY be eligible since he is a special ed student but we can't be sure yet if he gets summer school. Why the hell do kids get so much time off from school?! What the hell are parents supposed to do with them during work hours. Kids get the time off, I don't. And I don't dare waste my precious vacation on anything other than travel, it's MY vacation. And I do not look forward to the day I have to travel with Andy. Or do I? No, no, I value my freedom unlike some people.
For all the kind words of encouragement we get there are twice as many people there with their judging faces and unsolicited advice. Everyone feels they can do a better job or worse they coddle the prick because of daft ideas like Indigo Children. Seriously, the kid came to us as is, we didn't raise him to be the monster he is. We are trying to break the bad habits and pattern of insanity that has been placed there by an insane woman. He isn't a "special" or "broken" child, he is a spoiled brat who ran the roost where he came from. Now that he can't it makes it difficult for all involved, including the mister and I who get the calls from the school, stink eye from other parents and reprimands from the leasing office.
I just want to wake up in the morning, have a run, go to work and enjoy my evening in the kitchen whipping up a masterpiece dinner. I want to be able to have a conversation with my husband that isn't interrupted by non-sense sounds and stammers because HE needs "attention" "attention" (he actually has interrupted with his hands cupped around his hands shouting, "Attention! Attention!"). I want to bust out the belt and give him a proper swatting because that's how I was raised. And I firm believer of, 'spare the rod, spoil the child'. Not my child and it's also not the 80's anymore. Spanking, as far as I can tell is looked down upon, probably by the same folks who buy into that Indigo Children crap, assholes.
I need a reset button for the day. I honestly feel like punching children, not just one. All of them. Or maybe I just want to hit something. I think I am going to just hit my face at lunch with some sushi. Just feed the pain Susie, feed the pain. Tomorrow shall be a better day, or will it? Wish me luck on my interview, I'm scared. Probably have no reason to be but ruffling feathers of HR is probably not the smartest thing to have happen before being interviewed by them. I always land on my feet, this is just passing frustration. I still have yet to post about Hawaii.... people are gonna start to think I never went.
His mother just got served custody paperwork yesterday. Looks like we are digging in for the long haul. I want to cry.