15 January 2010
When I grow up.
Yeah, when I grow up I'm gonna be pretty. I'm gonna be smart. I will have the balls to tell people to fuck off... and I am gonna runs away to Sweden. I am gonna slips in and outs of diabetics coma.
I know people care about me, but there is a fine line between caring for me and meddling in my personal affairs. Huh huh... I said affairs! Why must my life be scrutinized by others? Come on people I am not 10 years old, you may assume I am fucking shit up but I am not. I go to work, I pay my bills and spend quality time with the siblings. There really isn't anything more important than those things.... having a job affords me to have a place to stay and food to eat. Paying my bills keeps the bill collectors from trying to takes my hard earned Earth monies. And there isn't anything better in the universe than my siblings. Nothing can or will ever replace them. These are the things that are important in my life.
So I ask myself, "Self...what the fuck is going on? Why are people assuming that I am fucking shit up when I am not? Why are people so concerned with what I do or don't do?" And then I wonder... can't these people/friends/acquaintances see that I am not doing half bad at all? I have my health. I don't do drugs. I have my family. I have my puppies. I am still employed. I am paying my bills and doing my stupid DUI class bullshit for as much as I hate it and find it a waste of time. Soooo I dunno what the hell is going on. I will admit I have short comings. Everyone does WHO THE FUCK CARES!
No one is perfect. Far from it actually. I know I am prone to bouts of depression....but I haven't been as depressed as I have
been in the past. (That's a good thing.) I know that I have impulse control issues, they have improved greatly. Some times I have moments of 'Oh shit, did I do that?!' I'm getting older and tired and for lack of a better term a bit more mature about things..... So for those that are wondering what the hell I am up to. Here it is plain as day as of this very second:
*My car is getting worked on so I can drive. <-- I have my restricted already, soon I will be mobile so I can hang out more often with my friends that I miss. Stupid lack of transportation. And stupid me for being stubborn and not wanting help hahaha.
*I am still doing my DUI classes. <-- It's the responsible thing to do. So I am on target for finishing up on time and getting back to being a non restricted member of the non pedestrian club of California.
*I haves a boyfriend. <---I likes him and that's all that matters cause you, the reader is not Dr. Girlfriend.
*I love my siblings and would rather spend all my time with them doing nothing at all than "trying" to go out and make fun times happen anywhere else. <--- The sibling monsters are truly invincible when all together and there is no one can top us being full of awesome in the whole UNIVERSE!
*Music makes my world go round. <--- The last month or two,
music has saved my sanity in this whirlwind of people getting in my shit. So that being said, please butt out. If you care, talk to me and let me know whats up. Don't discuss me behind my back because by the time shit gets to me it's all twisted and then I just wanna crawl in a hole and cry. And to quote one of the funniest shits ever, "Listen you Polly Pocket immature cry baby idiot fucktards... I am not your girlfriend, hobby, talk of the town and this shit is gay! Get a life, more on,and gimme a call so we can hang out when joo grow the fuck up."
Moral of the story: Care, don't meddle.