12 December 2013


My mom is new to the world of cell phones.  When she first got her phone she would text me asking what commonly used acronyms meant.  Turns out my brother was communicating with her using some complex language she didn't understand.  So she used her daughters to break the codes for her: lol, wtf, ttyl and other commonly used acronyms used in texts, emails and even *gasp* when people are talking.  Yeah, I know, it bothers me too when people say 'lol' instead of just laughing.  I don't get it either.

My mom learned 'selfie' while on our trip to Hawaii.  Before we took her to church one day, she stood in front of the mirror and took a selfie wearing her church duds.  She looked over at me and proudly said she took a selfie!  My sister and I found it sort of endearing.  Toward the end of our trip, while at the airport, she was taking another selfie.  My sister and I watched in silent amusement while some guy walked by and told us she was probably the oldest person he had ever seen take a selfie.  We all got a good laugh in, mostly at moms expense but she is a good sport and laughed to.  So mom knows how to 'selfie', her and my aunt now have a new word in their vocabulary too.

I've been guilty of the selfie.  I have Instagram, go on, look.... I'm guilty.  Now before I get hate comments about picking on girls because I am jealous: 1.) I am not jealous.  2.)  Just say what you mean!!!  I keep finding these selfies where a girl is commenting on how blue the sky is and all you see are tits.  Just cut the crap, post your tits and be done with it.  Examples:

"Love my new eyeshadow!"*
Uh, her eyes are open so I can't really see much shadow.  Not to mention her face takes up maybe 1/4 of the picture.  I see cleavage not eyeshadow when I look at this picture.  A better caption:  "BOOBS"  Or maybe something along the lines of: "Goin' man hunting."  I think perhaps: "Daddy didn't give me enough attention when I was young; look at my boobs and comment on how awesome they look."

"Just me, at the lake."*
Nah, it's just you.  No lake.  For all anyone knows you are in your backyard starved for attention taking selfies, claiming you are at the lake.  Where is the lake?  Don't you have any friends that can take your picture with the lake in the background?  Maybe she should have lowered the shot, cut her face out and talked about her new bikini top.  Or maybe she just wanted to show off her duckface, I won't go into that dead horse subject though.  I just don't understand why an excuse has to be mentioned, just post your boobs and let the "Likes" and comments roll.  I assume that is the point right?

Maybe I just woke up on the wanky side of the bed again, though I don't sleep on a bed and there really isn't a side I get up on.  Why can't people just be more direct instead of trying to be coy?  You aren't exactly shy if you are posting boob pics so stop trying at kittenish, it's not working for you.  I'm not saying cover 'em up.  I am just saying there is no need to make excuses for what you are really trying to post.  Maybe work today just ticked me off a little and I had to find a way to channel my venom.  I should probably post something about Hawaii aside from my mother's discovery of the selfie.

*Disclaimer: I stole these selfies without the captions I attached to them.  The captions actually belong to people, I may or may not know.  Who may or may not have been trying to draw attention to their boobs.

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