31 October 2010

Tricks for Celebrating Halloween at Every Stage of Life

So after reading the advice about taking 'magic mushrooms' I stumble down to see this bit of funny. Seriously I wanna be Dread Pirate Roberts... I could do it.


Advice for men:


1. Grow half a moustache.


2. Go to any cheap-ass Halloween store; buy a plastic sword and that generic black vinyl "Cat Woman" mask they all have in stock.


3. Cut the ears off of the mask and flip it inside out. Trim any tags or odd threads.


4. Go to a thrift store and buy a loose-fitting black silk woman's blouse; leave it unbuttoned to the chest. Now find some baggy black pants and black knee-high boots.


5. You're now the Dread Pirate Roberts, from The Princess Bride.


6. If a girl asks anything of you, reply with simply: "As you wish."


7. Drown in pussy.


*Note: Should a female not "get" your costume, just move on: If her favorite movie is not The Princess Bride, she is terrible in the sack and that probably also makes her a bad person. I do not know why this is so; I only know for a fact that it is so.


Advice for Women: Do not run off with that guy ironically dressed as The Situation. The Dread Pirate Roberts is coming to rescue you.



However, this is probably what I will end up doing on Halloween:



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