22 April 2013

Skirt or Shorts?

The other day after work I had to make a quick run to the grocery store.  I need to stop doing that during the day.  Events are getting scarier with each day time venture to the store.  Anyways,  on my way there I was lucky enough to be walking behind the Queen of Trashy.  I was so dumbstruck I had to take a picture.  I don't know if she heard the phone make the picture sound or not but I really didn't care.  I had to share the horrors.  

My question is, was this woman wearing a very short skirt or did her ass eat her shorts?

What do you think? 
No, don't think about it too hard.  Bad dreams.

I thought the skinny jean thing was bad but skinny shorts?!

It's all bad.  I don't even know where to start.  I guess really it's one thing that created this fashion train-wreck: the shorts.  They are far too tight for the person that somehow managed to wedge themselves into.  How do they even manage?!  She is spilling out the top and bottom of the shorts.  Luckily the picture doesn't show how truly hideous and dimply her cheeks and thighs are.  And then she is wearing house shoes OUTSIDE!  WHY?!  Nevermind, I shouldn't even be surprised.  Around these parts this is common outdoor attire:

Uggs are uggly and should stay where they belong.  Indoors.  
They are expensive, have shit for tread and soak up water.
Seriously, there is no purpose for them to be worn outside, ever!
I really don't understand why the lady left the house on a hot day wearing boots you wear when it's cold.  Cold inside your house, specifically.

Fashion will never cease to amaze me!
Humans will never cease to amaze me with their stupid human tricks.

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