19 July 2012

I gots a real cool codpiece too!

Uh that's a dildo.... a strap on dildo.

Once upon a time I worked at Diamond Adult World.  A while ago I read a post from Gaijinass which for some reason popped into my head after remembering the above clip from Metalocalypse earlier today.  (Don't ask me how my brain connects the dots, it just does.) I can honestly say I was in AV in school (you know to fetch the VCR/TV cart for movie time) AND I worked in AV after high school (yes, adult videos).  No, no I wasn't IN them, I just sold and rented them at the local porn store.  Now when I hear a lame song by Savage Garden or N'Sync I can now say, "Uh an AV store song!" in disgust instead of saying, "Ugh a porn store song!"  It will sound much politer in public in the US... probably not so polite sounding in Japan though.  I wonder which would be the lesser of two evils in Japan?
Really though when I worked there, you had two options.  You could listen to country music or you could listen to the mainstream popular station.  No other choices, so I chose the lesser of two evils (country being the most evil).  I would have been happy with classic rock but that choice was not mine to make.  And in the lingerie shop the radio stations didn't come in for shit!  So when I hear certain songs that were drilled into my head for 8-12 hours a day during my young adult life, I cringe.  And then I get a flood of memories from working at that store.

My first memory of the place was like sensory overload.  I turned in my application (they were ALWAYS hiring and I needed a job) and I didn't even know where to avert my gaze to because nudity and "novelty toys" were everywhere!!!  I figured it's no big deal I would get used to the surroundings in no time, IF I even got the job.  A few weeks later I start my first day at work.  As I walk in I get carded, yes I got asked for my ID because they thought I was a high school kid trying to sneak in.  Oh boy!  I showed my ID and then my training began.  This job was easier than I thought it would be, I mean really how hard is it to work retail anyways right?  With in the week the surroundings were no different than a walk in the grocery store, business as usual.
Business as usual?  Yes I would like a croissant on a platter please.
The clientele for places like that range from girls looking for novelty bachlorette gag gifts, lonely dudes that need a movie, couples that are exploring fetishes to strange old dudes wanting to wear women's panties and flashers.  It was a vast array of people that came in and out of that building.  For the most part it was business as usual but every now and again we would get a weirdo or two.  Since I have been neglecting my friend, the blog; I decided it was time to regale my audience with stories of working at Diamond Adult World.  So stay tuned for my 3 part follow-up to this post.  True stories of working in an AV store as a young adult.

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