31 August 2012

I found Sarah Silverman's long lost sister!

I had a bit of the writers block?  Yes, the writers block and then I had to take it back old school, "Cause who gives a fuck about hos?"  I have had a few topics on my mind but nothing stood out until today.  This is number one on my list cause bitches be cray-zeh.  The next one hits closer to home for people that are parents who deal with bully kids in school.  I don't have kids but I will be damned  if my little nephews have their asses handed to them or no good reason.  {{EDIT: I never saw myself as a bully but damn I was a bit of a tyrant :( Mean!  Karma?  I didn't have any kids so my sister's boys have to pay for my dumb ass. Post coming shortly!}}

Alternate title #1:

Alternate title #2:
Bitches be gettin' cray-zeh.

Alternate title #3:
Girl you drank TOO much; sleep it off.

I have seen some funny shit in my life, but really nothing beats seeing crazy ass drunk bitches.  My friend celebrated her birthday earlier this week; at The Swiss.  While at The Swiss this younger blond girl had been taken out of the bar three times by her very tolerant boyfriend.  (That guy deserves a medal; or a new girlfriend!)  Anyone ever seen the opening scene of Way Of The Gun?

Lucky for the girl that was acting a fool over nothing; her boyfriend wasn't some 'fro haired angry man out to fight. Flashback to what happened before Zuul reared her ugly face:

  • My husband has a nasty habit of smoking.
  • My brother wanted to borrow his lighter and has a bad habit of walking off with said lighters.  His excuse is: "I am stealing his lighters because he stole my sister from me."  Awww my brother obviously misses hanging out with me! 
  • I walked out to the car to retrieve what would be lighter 5 million billion that my brother has absconded with for my DH.
  • While out in the parking lot my brother notices a huge SUV with people making friendly.  So he flashes his headlights and honks his horn a few times.
  • The couple in the SUV peek their heads up and continue on with friendliness.
  • Meanwhile Zuul peeks her head out of another SUV that was a few parking spaces away and starts to do her Zuul thing.
What is this Zuul thing you ask?  Scroll back up to the top and watch the first link.  Do IT!!!
She then accuses my husband, brother and me of being white assholes... and how she would come and fuck us all up ( my brother is a halfie and sometimes I have a little bit of white in me but we are not the white man.)!  She said her boyfriend would fight us all, "Just say another word and you are done for!"  I swear it took every bit of energy not to start laughing and have some drunk lady come stumbling towards us to flail around like a Drunky McDrunk A Lot.
Why can't shit be bad ass like before? 
Now everyone trys to act crazy because they can?!  Well I suppose they can.  But damn doesn't that woman fear the real mutha fuckin' G's?!

Bitch sit your ass back down before you have some real shit come atcha!  (Not me!) But damn that girl is so lucky some crazy trece vatos and their homegirls weren't with them... that white girl would have been a mop in that parking lot.  Go home and get a grip on your drinking BEEATCH!

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