31 July 2010

Managing Conflicts With Email


I'm not going to point fingers or say names. But I know quite a few people that like to send nasty emails because they can not handle confrontation. Some do it to try and save face others do it because they are unwilling to accept their part in the conflict.

I can think of one person specifically (whom I do not speak with any longer) that was (probably still is) notorious for written communication. This person sends emotionally charged and mean messages/emails to people instead of confronting the person face to face. After years of knowing the person I am speaking of, these are the reasons I assumed they did this:

  • The person is a control freak. In an email argument, the person doing the writing is in control... When discussing or having a confrontation face to face, that control is gone. Some people can not handle that it seems.

  • The person is also tries to be as hurtful as possible and not have to see the outcome of the hurt caused. So the person would tear into someone via written word and they would not have to witness the aftermath. Not to mention this person was probably too chicken to be that hurtful to someones face.

  • The response email would be sent either equally as emotionally charged or more so (name calling). Then the original email that was sent would appear less angry or even be used in accusing the recipient of being "crazy" or "out of control".

Needless to say life has been much easier not dealing with this person because you had to walk on eggshells to even be their friend.... and that is not friendship at all. With friendship you take the good with the bad and work through difficulties if you truly care for others.

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