What started out as an objective debate ended abruptly in a juvenile manner. The topic of debate: Banning of booksafter the book The Pedophile’s Guide to Love and Pleasure was published. {I do not support the subject matter of the book. But starting a government imposed ban on any book starts treading on murky waters.}
Why? Suddenly the fact that I do not believe in god made what was a good objective debate turn sour. Just because I have no belief in a god means I can no longer debate? Well what about what I said before you found out I was a godless heathen? It was taken into account and a rebuttal was made. But now that you find out I am not a believer of a god I am not worth the time of day?
Well at least the debate didn’t end because I was a woman right?
Recently I had the wonderful privilege of being told I was "ashamed" and "embarrassed". Let's examine these two words, shall we? Yes, lets. After you my dear.
Ashamed: feeling shame or guilt or embarrassment or remorse.
Embarrassed: made to feel uncomfortable because of shame or wounded pride; abashed: feeling or caused to feel uneasy and self-conscious.
Wikipedia says this: "Embarrassment is an emotional state experienced upon having a socially or professionally unacceptable act or condition witnessed by or revealed to others. Usually some amount of loss or honour or dignity is involved, but how much and the type depends on the embarrassing situation. It is similar to shame, except that shame may be experienced for an act known only to oneself. Also, embarrassment usually carries the connotation of being caused by an act that is merely socially unacceptable, rather than morally wrong."
Math is not my strong suit but I can understand a concept when it is explained once maybe even twice. Verizon on the other hand has issues... poor mathematically challenged Verizon.
I wanted to wrap a mystery XMas present at work today. So… the present was in the trunk of my car but I failed to bring the wrapping paper. OH NO!!!!! What to do?!
Maximum PC to the rescue!
I went through two back issues of Maximum PC that were begging to be recycled and I single handedly saved the planet and wrapped the mystery gift of doom! Yes. I know. I am pretty damn awesome. OSSIM!
**Edit: Now that Christmas is over I got him a new graphics tablet. He loves it!
***Disclaimer: The following will only be a list of the first ones that come to mind...***
The one and only time I peed my pants in school was in pre-school during a fire drill. I had never heard the fire drill alarm before and it was on a box mounted by the clock in the classroom. It was flashing orange and so loud it pretty much startled me into a catatonic state. I peed my pants, which I don't even recall doing, and the teacher had to pick me up and take me outside. Since then fire drills put me on edge and I remember the pre-school incident every time.
Hearing my sister, who was 15 at the time tell my mom she was pregnant. The memorable part is (keep in mind my mom has 6 kids, she KNOWS where babies come from) my sister is telling my mom that she doesn't know how it happened, they were "just holding hands". Bullshit! You were holding something else NOT with your hand. Anyways we laughed and my mom knew we were eavesdropping but it was worth it. To hear such a stupid excuse, oh man I will never forget that.
The death of my grandparents. My grandfather passed when I was really young but I still remember the whole ordeal vividly. It was drizzly and I remember running through the convalescent home crying and soaking wet because I wasn't allowed in to see him. I remember going outside to sit in the rain because no one was allowed in. When my grandmother passed it was much the same except I was much older. The memory of her death is so unreal just remembering, I can recall everyone's reaction and conversations that were had as if it were yesterday.
When someone younger or the same age as me tries to refer to me as their 'mija' or 'kiddo'.
Rocks in my shoes.
Ill behaved children.
Girls... especially the gossipy, giggly, overly made up ones that are boy crazy because of their low self esteem.
People who kiss and tell. Keep that stuff to yourselves people.
Hearing people say how bad they need/want to get laid and then the moment they have a person in their life to fulfill that need they bitch about them.
Opening the little metal flap thing on the large Morton Salt containers... ooohhh I hate how the cardboard feels against the metal and the noise it makes.
Stupid internet memes that are NOT funny but refuse to die.
Since so many people are unhappily married or constantly serial dating because they are unhappy… maybe take a peek at these suggestions to help keep your relationship happy and healthy. Check out the link, it might make your current or next relationship just a tad better and maybe last longer.
I saw an old couple the other day holding pinkies. It was cute. I find it funny that people my age can be so bitter and negative about relationships. I look to the old cute couples holding hands and sneaking kisses to stay positive. Everyone is always quick to find the bad in people and find reasons to deem them ‘imperfect’ for themselves that they don’t stop to see the good in people. You bitter hags, relax and get over yourselves. Your pissy polly attitude is more of a turn off for guys than anything else… and then you wonder why you can’t find a nice chap to date.
So on Sunday, I babysat my nephew... The one that has "issues" and he was actually better behaved than I expected. Well to be honest I kinda knew he would be good since he fears my wrath (which is mostly scary face and loud stern talk). So anyways, my sister (not the one I hate) sent me a picture of the thank you note he wrote to me. It's shown above and if you have a hard time translating his 'asome' spelling here is what it says:
Dear She-Ra Princess of Power,
Thank you for letting me go to the barbecue. It was delicious, fantastic and awesome. I loved it! When can I come back?
Your nephew,
Malachi
I appreciate the thanks, especially if it came straight from him and was not prompted.... I supposed I shall write back to let him know if he can come back. But now that his mom is out of jail I am not sure how often if at all that will happen.
P.S. I can't stand his mother and refuse to see her. So hanging out with my nephews may not happen as often as it did when she was in the big house.
So sick and tired of seeing this ridiculous crap. Really jealousy is not very becoming..... for guys or girls. It's terrible and stupid. Jealousy has ruined countless relationships. Unless people get over their little insecurities the green eyed monster will always win.
I DON'T like you talking to other girls, but I'm not saying you shouldn't do it. It's not that I don't trust you, because I guarantee you, I trust you with my life. It's just that sometimes, I get afraid that she'll steal you away from me. I am a jealous girl, and I admit it.
Honestly if someone is 'stolen' from you maybe you don't need them around. Obviously they didn't feel the same way about you as you did them.
These are for you Sylvia, I know how much you love your little Panda bear. I wonder if he is still afraid of skateboards. I remember trying to put him on my skateboard and he peed on it :(
I have been really good this year. Well, aside from laughing at the neighbor's kid that fell and scraped his knee the other day. But that's what he gets for being a tyrant. Karma's a bitch and I'm her pimp. I digress, this letter is to notify you to append the "Avenging Unicorn Play-set" to my Christmas wish list. My mom doesn't celebrate Christmas and my dead beat dad is a loser I haven't seen since I was in my teens. And even when I DID see him I got no XMas love. So I beseech you lord of fat and presents. Please can you bring me the Avenging Unicorn Play-set? I promise to be good for the remainder of the year, excluding laughing at children in distress.
As stated before, I promise to leave out a yummy steak and good beer for you instead of cookies and milk. I am sure you are tired of the same thing being left out for you year after year by booger faced children that are nothing more than TOY BREAKERS!
I stumbled upon Lunchbreath and I love this guy now... seriously check out his infographics on Flickr his stuff is made of magic. So far I like the 'How I Feel About Your Baby' the most... so far. I am sure I will find others that tickle me pink but for now this one speaks volumes of truth for me.
My sister's dog Panda with his sister Sundae. They look so cute together! I believe out of their litter they might be the only ones left. The girl we got them from had a total of 5 pups if I remember correctly. We chose the fattest one and he came with a tail. Our friend Jessie picked Sundae, she has no tail and is much lighter colored than Panda, smaller too! I know one of the other dogs was attacked and killed by coyotes and the one the owner kept died of Parvo (see what happens when you are not careful with your puppy!). So I believe there may be one floatin' around out there still but I could be wrong.
And you people thought I saved the red gummi's for last just cause I wanted to eat the best ones last. NOOOOOOOO I save them to make mini combustibles to throw at children that think it's funny to tease my dogs. They think teasing dogs is funny, I think fourth degree burns are funny. I guess we can't all like the same things....
On an unrelated note..... social networking sites make it hard to be an effective liar. Not only do you have to get your stories straight you have to make sure everyone else gets your story straight too.
We have decided.... and you fail. We have also decided you are stupid and we don't understand people. Being a cat is sooo hard.
Yes yes I know OOOOOHHH AAHHHHH so cool! But seriously how the fuck am I supposed to eat that? And really do I want to pay, how much?! To eat at Alinea?
Their menu says $195 (as of Oct 7th)... yes yes I know I am paying for the experience blablabla but seriously this is one of their dishes:
No thanks, I would rather spend the 200 bucks on something else... not a 'to die for' dining experience.... I mean really the only thing that would make me die is the price. If someone wants to take me out to Alinea, that's all fine and dandy. I will enjoy my experience and try their teeny tiny artsy food things they offer. No you don't get sex for taking me to an expensive eatery.
I don't usually take compliments well. But I love it when I get a good ole pat on the back at work... yes I know it's my job to do what I do but it feels good to be thanked.
Susie:
Thanks. That did the trick. I had to go into Tools, Send and Receive, and Send and Receive Settings. I had been trying to do it through the option for each folder.
I copied the document and saved it for future reference.
So after reading the advice about taking 'magic mushrooms' I stumble down to see this bit of funny. Seriously I wanna be Dread Pirate Roberts... I could do it.
Advice for men:
1. Grow half a moustache.
2. Go to any cheap-ass Halloween store; buy a plastic sword and that generic black vinyl "Cat Woman" mask they all have in stock.
3. Cut the ears off of the mask and flip it inside out. Trim any tags or odd threads.
4. Go to a thrift store and buy a loose-fitting black silk woman's blouse; leave it unbuttoned to the chest. Now find some baggy black pants and black knee-high boots.
5. You're now the Dread Pirate Roberts, from The Princess Bride.
6. If a girl asks anything of you, reply with simply: "As you wish."
7. Drown in pussy.
*Note: Should a female not "get" your costume, just move on: If her favorite movie is not The Princess Bride, she is terrible in the sack and that probably also makes her a bad person. I do not know why this is so; I only know for a fact that it is so.
Advice for Women: Do not run off with that guy ironically dressed as The Situation. The Dread Pirate Roberts is coming to rescue you.
However, this is probably what I will end up doing on Halloween:
Pop quiz.... what is this child suffering the effects of?
Alright enough of that.... hope you guys read the article. My co-worker did and was astounded at the information. I love how no one knows about what our government is up to or even cares to dig into what they have been up to and coughed up to doing.
Today I was asked if I am registered to vote.... What do you think?
What is it? Well for you old schoolies that are literate, you know full well it is a science fiction novel written by Stephen King in '82. It was later adapted to film in '87 (LOOSELY ADAPTED) and the awesome Gummi Bear of Candycornia was the lead actor for it. I don't even wanna get into the game console they made the game for, that would not only date me (as if you don't already know my age) but prove what a dork I am too.
And then there was this:
The Running Man is a street and fad dance that originated in late 1986 early 1987 and was performed most notably by MC Hammer and Vanilla Ice during their live concert shows and music videos, but achieved renewed popularity in the 2000s. It is also used in some forms of the Melbourne Shuffle dance style. It consists of a hopping or sliding step done in such a way at speed to simulate a runner.
Okay so now that we have a little back story to The Running Man, I will continue my story of 'Oh my god I am old.' I was driving home after work, like I normally do and a few kids were out in the street (not the side walk) doing The Running Man. Not only have I seen folks in their early 20's doing this out at bars, dance parties and raves but now I see the local junior high kids doing this. I remember seeing people do the running man BEFORE some of the kids that are practicing the steps were born! I know people take lessons in other dancing like ballroom, swing or salsa.... but I really don't see the return of a herky jerky dance step, now referred to as shuffling, to be on par with the aforementioned dancing.
Check out this kiddo showing people how to shuffle dance, notice his integration of The Running Man into his routine. {Kid is probably young enough to have been my teen pregnancy child.} Oh and for you youngin's that want to incorporate yet another old school dance move in try The Roger Rabbit it's like the Running man, but backwards. WOW! I know right, you are totally floored and can't wait to try it out.
So the other day when I was driving home early from work I noticed an ocean of teenagers walking home, I live a few blocks from a high school. And I was thinking to myself, "Self, I have some of that clothes at my grandmas house from when I used to be a kid. The 80's fashion is fashionable again?"
So I hopped on my computer machine to do a comparative study of 80's fashion vs. Hipster fashion. And hot damn if some of the similarities are uncanny!
This was cool then and now... MAGIC!
I should have a garage sale of my old crap that my mother, aunt, grandmother horded. I just tossed out (Freecycled)a few dresses from the 80's that I had in my possession.... the girl that picked them up said, "Wow these are really cute! Where did you get them?!" Answer: 1985, no seriously, I am not lying. For real circa 1985. I just saw a picture of Halle Berry in a god awful thick striped sweater dress WITH shoulder pads. Any way enough of my grandma ranting. GET OFF MY LAWN YOU YOUNG WHIPPER SNAPPERS! I just find it that what used to be attire for a costume party or Halloween is now the "cool" thing to wear. Do kids still use 'cool' as an adjective? Or is it just rufus (Never Been Kissed reference...)now or some other descriptive word.
Note to self: Dig through grandma's garage and sell shit.
Oh the kitchen sounds like a good place to be... I'm hungry and I need to get to my gender appointed task. Thanks philosoraptor, you saved me from starving again.
It’s me again. I was thinking, since I want an Avenging Unicorn it would only be right for me to request the unicorn of the sea play set too. So please append “The Avenging Narwhal Play set” to my list of things I deserve for Christmas. So far this year I have only asked for three things, so please, I promise to be good. I want play sets! I also promise to let the Narwhal and Unicorn play with Mr. Bacon and Monsieur Tofu. They have been lonely since I got them in August so I promised them if I get Unicorn and Narwhal for Christmas they can play together.
Thanks again old buddy!
P.S. Are you hiring elves right now? I know some small children that can pass as elves that keep pestering my dogs. I can arrange an exchange…. them for early presents? Let me know. You know where I live.
